Caught my wife (F30) and BIL(M36) together on Diwali night, and my life has been falling apart since.

I (M30) don’t know how to deal with this, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Last year on Diwali, my family gathered at our house for the celebrations. My elder sister (F34), her husband (M36), their son, my cousin (M28), and his parents were all there.

As per our yearly tradition, all the adult men went up to the terrace at midnight to play cards and drink. This is something we’ve done for years. My BIL was also there, but after he lost all his money, he went back downstairs. I was heavily drunk, and my cousin brother (M28) helped me get back to my room when i lost all my money .

When we entered the room, it was dark, but we heard screaming sounds coming from my bed. My cousin turned on the light, and what we saw next completely shattered me , my wife and my BIL were in an intimate position, and he was still continuing the act. I was so furious that I screamed at them. They immediately separated . She pulled a bedsheet to cover herself. My wife was holding her belly and looked like she was in real pain. Both of them were in complete shock, looking at each other like they didn’t understand what had just happened.

My BIL kept saying, "It’s not what it looks like! It was a mistake!" He then gave the most ridiculous excuse ever . He said he thought my wife was his wife. My sister walked into the room and broke down crying. My sister quickly took him and their child and left that same night.

When I confronted my wife later, she told me that she had been asleep and thought it was me when she was first touched. She said things escalated quickly and she realized it wasn’t me when it was hurting during the intercourse . But by then, she was in alot of pain, and she said she forgot everything because of it .

For the next two days, my wife was not walking properly. It made everything feel even more disturbing.

Since then, my parents have been telling me to stay calm and that things will be fine, but I don’t think I can ever recover from this. I have distanced myself from my wife since that night. Every time I look at her, I feel disgusted. She has barely spoken to me since, and I have no idea what she is thinking.

I don’t even know what to believe anymore but my heart say that she is innocent.