Wanna cry from embarrassment

Me & my fiancé have always supported each other in everything. He tells me everything & I tell him everything. Well being diagnosed with PCOS & delving deeper into finding if I have endometriosis he’s heard & seen everything. (Well up until tonight I should say) I’m on period it’s bloody horror scene & I stepped into the shower with clots 😭 & apparently stepped out of the shower with clots. We have these really fancy white towels that were gifted as our house warming gifts & literally just bought a new bath mat. Well I bled all over the towel & I was like fuhk (we live in an apartment complex that doesn’t have individual washer/dryers) so we tossed it. I showed him for science & immediately regretted it…… then... I was looking for something & thought I’d left it in the bathroom & the spots on the mat were not all water. There were some blood spots 😭 I told him & asked if we need to throw that away & he says no. I know he knows I’m embarrassed. & I’m also really tired & probably bleeding more than I have in a really long time & he went in with one of our tide pens & scribbled off the blood. & in my head I was like see it bothers him & I didn’t even think about washing the blood drips up I’m exhausted. First time ever I wanna cry from embarrassment. I hate that he has to put up with this almost as much as I do. I wonder what he’s thinking about lot of the times. I know more caring & worry than negative but I just wonder if maybe a little bit of sprinkled annoyance. Idk kind of need to vent this out. I don’t have anyone to talk to besides him & I don’t want to make everything about me & PCoS AgaINN 🥴