Would you hold your child back?

My daughter is in second grade and with a summer birthday she’s one of the youngest in her class. She is struggling big time in math and reading retention and it’s causing her to hate school (already 🥺). Her teacher rewards kids for doing well, and often gives the top finishers an extra treat for their hard work. I don’t have an issue with this, but my daughter told me yesterday that she’s never finished with enough right answers to receive a treat and for the first time she reached her breaking point and cried in school. She’s an oldest daughter/perfectionist type so I think being behind is destroying her self esteem and mental health.

She tries SO HARD. We study constantly at home and she’s just not improving. She’s regularly pulled from the regular class for a math group but they seem to always do it when the rest of the class is having a fun activity so she feels punished.

I’m heartbroken for her and I don’t know what else I can do. I’m considering keeping her back a year so that her brain growth can catch up with her workload and she doesn’t feel so defeated.

My bf is adamantly against this. He thinks she’ll hate me when she’s 18 and just starting her senior year. I don’t expect she’ll be in public school by then as I will let my children do homeschool/online learning when they’re older so they can learn at their own pace. I think she’ll actually finish school earlier than her current peers because she’s very bright and loves learning when she can do it at her own pace.