I give up

I give up, the last year I’ve begged god constantly for help and deliverance from my depression. It hasn’t gotten better, and today I spent the whole day crying begging God to make me feel happier and he ends up doing something that hurts me 100X more. I give up, I believe in God but damn if he’s up there he really doesn’t want a relationship with me. Please, Pray that this changes, because I won’t be praying again.