It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits.

There’s always the following confusion when women are trying to understand why men don’t care about a woman’s career: They say, “Women actually give a damn about how a man spends a good chunk of his life! Of course we care about a man’s career! A man’s career reveals things about him…” Newsflash: A man’s job reveals if he’s the type of competent individual who can provide for you. That’s what you think is hot. Women think the way they love is more pure and honest, but it’s really just objectification. Here is what I find romantic and not romantic: One man is a struggling artist. The woman is attracted to the man because she also has artistic sensibilities, and it’s something they bond over. Romantic. The second man is a fire fighter. The woman is attracted to the man because his job is tough, and it enables him to handle high stress situations. This is not inherently romantic like the first scenario is. It could simply be the mentality of someone looking for the best option, not someone looking for a compatible match. Someone’s career won’t tell you a person’s intelligence, or their perspective on life, or what their favorite movies are. It will, however, reveal how hard a person is willing to work to secure their status in the hierarchy of life. So, I’m just pushing back against women claiming they like a man’s job because the job is a part of them. You like the man’s job because it signifies tangible benefits for you.

Women will respond to this by saying, “Of course that’s how a man would think! You don’t care about the WOMAN, you only care about yourself!” To this I say… choosing someone based on their similarities to you is unironically less selfish than choosing someone simply because they’re an objectively good option.