a thesis on modern swaminarayanism

hey everyone,

i’ve been lurking here for a while, but i finally felt ready to share a bit of my story. i didn’t grow up in BAPS, but i was surrounded by it for most of my life. my long-term partner was deeply involved, and over time, our differences in belief slowly drove us apart. losing that relationship was devastating, and i kept wondering if i had been unreasonable or just didn’t understand the faith enough.

after we broke up, i went on a pretty intense journey to figure out what BAPS and swaminarayanism actually meant to me. i wanted to know if my doubts were valid or if i had been blinded by my own emotions. a lot of my research came directly from sanstha resources, and while i do see the good they try to do, i also feel like many people get caught up in idealizing the institution to the point where they can’t see its flaws.

i found this subreddit while working on a document where i tried to lay all my thoughts out, and i’d love to share it (even though it’s still unfinished). i guess i’m hoping to connect with others who’ve been through similar struggles, especially ex-BAPS members who can help me understand where my own biases might be clouding my judgment.

thanks for reading, and i really appreciate this space.