Bad feelings here lately

I just feel stupid. And I know, I know. I’m not really. That’s what my parents always say to me. But it can’t just magically change my mind by saying I’m not. The thought is still there. I feel like I’ve always been dumb. Like in school people convinced themselves I was smart because I was quiet. And they gave me harder and harder work to do. When I failed it all they just were like you got this! That never helped. I wish I could at least have gotten help in school. Now I’m an immature adult with barely any concept of money and simple math. My work payed me and it was gone in a few days because I didn’t realize how much I was using. Also stop reading here if you are very religious because I’m about to talk about something kind of against Christianity. My mom always tells me to turn to Jesus but he never helps. He hasn’t helped ever in my life. All my accomplishments were because of me. I did them. He did t help at all. It’s been hard to talk to my mom here lately.