How do I get help

These past weeks/month I've been doing really badly. I've survived multiple suicide attempts and caused severe damage to myself in the past few weeks. I also get very paranoid and it prevents me from talking to people. I'm getting lots of flashbacks from things that happened in the past and I get frequent nightmares from it.

I'm very sick of all of this and I want to get better desperately. Im still a young girl and I haven't gotten to experience life, I want to fix myself before I do end up killing myself.

How do I get help for this?? Who do I speak to with these kind of things. Hotlines have never worked for me so please don't suggest those