I feel indifferent

I'm gonna find a way to do it somehow tonight. I'm sad but not sobbing. It feels like a matter of fact, like just a way of things like steps. I wish that in my short 16 years of life I could have found love or something not the fake shit you get from family but genuine love. It is in a way sad that 16 years will equal ultimately nothing but I guess that's how things go. Too everyone this may effect, I'm sorry and I love you and I'll always be with you, live the life I never will.