My biggest regret is not killing myself when I was a child.

I was suicidal as a child but I stuck around because I was stupid enough to believe things would get better. Nothing has gotten better. I have spent my entire life fighting to feel decent about myself but nothing has gotten better. There is no place for me here, and I wish I realized that earlier. Some people are just not meant to be on this earth. I am miserable every single day and no matter what I do it'll never change. I wish I killed myself as a child so I could have gone in peace. Now I have so many responsibilities and so much guilt. Things are never getting better and the opportunity I had to leave before everything became too much is gone. I know I can't go back in time but I regret it so, so much. I wish I killed myself when I was a child. I had no idea that I would be so angry at myself over this. I thought things would get better. I wish I killed myself when I was a child.