I can't swim and I'm a new toddler mom

I suppose I'm looking for advice, or maybe if someone has been through this too. I am a 34f new mom to a little girl that will be 2 very soon. My husband and I took her to a reservoir recently and I felt incredibly sad that I could not partake in water activities with my family. I have been afraid of the water since I was maybe 8 or 9. I almost drowned at a water park in a wave pool filled with 100s of people. I was lucky that someone noticed me silently struggling.

I've tried swimming lessons all through my life. Family members, my friends, swimming instructors have all tried to help me. I also know I have the ability to swim because I understand the physicality of floating, treading, etc. But as soon as my feet don't feel the bottom I go into a full panic mode. I can't feel my chest, everything around me spins.

I want to be able to enjoy water activities with my daughter :-( or even keep her safe. How do I get past this?