"weedshrek" abnimals 14

heyy pervies! <3 back with another wonderful episode of everyone's favorite podcast, abnimals

let's just say, a lot has happened since the last time i was here ;) i'm breaking a new "keyboard" for this one and the keys are very smooth. it's a ducky brand, which i feel like i have some vague memory deep in my cortex about being good. maybe it was bad though. who could say.

i also got a kitten. his name is shampoo, named after the iconic character from legendary mangaka rumiko takehashi's "ranma 1/2". also because my girlfriend is a hair stylist, so it works both ways.

this one is called hide and sneak, which is a pretty good title! all the air left my lungs when i read the episode description though, because how are we doing corporate offices again. travis is so obsessed with corporate america for a guy who has never experienced it.

still misspelling music artist gagmesharkoff in the credits. pcrf makes its second appearance, somehow i don't think they'll mention it in the show itself this time either.

  • if nothing else, we'll always have this intro song <3
  • we open with storytime with justin, who was scared by a 3.2 earthquake. to be fair, those aren't common in west virginia. i live in socal so that shit is like living in indiana and hearing a tornado warning, this shit aint nothing to me man
    • but be safe all my LA based jerkers those wildfires are nasty work right now
    • can't stop thinking about that tweet that's like "climate disaster will present itself as a series of cell phone videos getting closer and closer until it is you who are the one recording it
  • travis is saying some stupid bullshit who cares
  • actual recap this episode, which means this must be a new recording session
  • the way he can distill an entire episode into two sentences would be more impressive if this show wasn't 90% padding and two sentences of actual gameplay
  • shampoo is napping by my foot this rules
  • i can't show you photos of him because that would be too parasocial </3
  • stepping outside the bit here, did feel actual visceral anger at griffin saying "leave a gap in the map" fuck off and learn to actually do that and stop parroting austin walker reading text from games that are better than you'll ever be
  • wow for one glorious second i thought justin started caring about the rules and enforcing mixed successes, but actually its about how he thinks sharts are super funny so he's trying to force roger to shart here, which falls precisely in-line with the mcelroy philosophy of "a mixed success means you get everything you were trying to do, but also its embarrassing"
  • rachel earning her keep here though by putting in the herculean effort of censoring shart with a dolphin noise like in spongebob, showing that at least someone is reading this sub
    • hey rachel, good work! now do the rest of the editing good too
  • hilarious joke where travis calls derek from the fcc to ask if they can call it "foop" and not be censored
  • oh this is bad
  • clint wanted to do a mega fart to, i guess, drive the front desk guy away from the bathroom
    • on a mixed travis gave him a big convincing "i have the shits" fart, but it is not enough to drive the front desk guy away
    • justin is now demanding that actually clint gets to drive this guy off and the price of the mixed is that he shits himself. good. this show is good.
  • WAIT EVERYONE FOLLOWED ROGER TO THE BATHROOM????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FRONT DESK GUY MOVES TO THE OTHER SIDE OF GOLDEN SEAL
  • LAST EPISODE ENDED WITH THEM SMASHING THE COMPUTER TO GET IN AND GOLDEN SEAL MAKING A BIG LOUD RUCKUS UP FRONT
  • there's a coatrack on wheels here now for some reason???????
  • a camera with 270 degree rotation is a weirdly specific and odd range of motion
  • "if you stack enough mixed successes on top of each other you really lose the plot"
  • i love abnimals i love travis this is so good. he's flipping a coin to see if lyle can throw a paper airplane to roger, because justin rolled a mixed success. if only there was some way to randomly determine if an action succeeds in your system, travis
  • 'sometimes griffin, the dice tell a story'
  • also travis's justification for why no one noticed a singing card playing darude sandstorm flying through the office is that everyone loves sandstorm here so much, its everyone's ringtone so they just hear it constantly, which is very good, because the whole reason they were throwing the card to begin with is to give roger a techno beat so he could use his mondo move
  • justin taking a cowabunga success for a stealth roll and then flipping it to insist that he can pass himself off as "coatbot" because his roll was successful is bad table etiquette, but its also the closest thing to comedy this show has gotten so far. so i'll allow it
  • travis making griffin roll first to see if he can spot a badge on a desk, then a second roll to actually grab the badge, is like the worst of bad dnd instincts, because this kind of shit also shouldn't be done in dnd but at least dnd's cavalcade of rolls allows you to do this without fucking the game, unlike mixed success systems that make each roll extremely impactful i actually want them to go back to dnd now stop ruining other things with your complete lack of understanding of game design and like, the inability to read two paragraphs of text
  • justin, maybe sarcastically: i'm not grousing! i'm not grousing. i think our overall progress in this episode is fantastic. i love it. the rate at which we are just grinding through your content
  • this, dear reader, leads us directly into the adbreak
  • justin squarespace
  • justin rocketmoney
  • oh speaking of shitty podcast products, i watched a video recently about "honey scam". y'all remember honey? the extension that was supposed to save you money? well it turns out it was also defrauding influencers by removing their referral link, and that shit got me rock hard i love honey now #1 app worldwide
  • justin tour dates for just the state of flordia i guess
  • wow actual clubhouse ad
  • !!!!!! PCRF MENTION!! 10% of this month's proceeds are going to the pcrf. i mean, i will just donate directly. but. cool, i guess.
  • pop culture podcast. revolutionary.
  • depresh mode ad
  • "give me a roll to see how far down the vent you've made it" do you hear yourself
  • clint rolls triple 6 and there's a brief tangent about making the antichrist, but kid-friendly, and they already did that probably its called left behind junior or whatever that YA spinoff of the christian apocalypse series left behind was called
    • i think its so funny how the main guy of that series is an airline pilot who was cheating on his wife at 30,000 feet when the rapture happened
  • "i think with three sixes maybe dad is in charge right now" cool to know grififn has started watching dimension20
  • travis roleplays with himself moment
  • idk why we're spying on eel patrick harris anyway? i thought they were here for some dumb files?
  • lyle finds a taser that says "instant" and "painless" and i found my weed pen because i too, wish to make this podcast instant and painless
  • i feel like justin just learned what ttrpgs are for the first time shortly before this recording
  • who the fuck is goshua
  • i zoned out for a bit but i assume nothing happened
  • "seems like everybody is ready to be done, in one way or another" cheers bro i'll drink to that
  • making fun of yourself for having a shitty cliffhanger and letting everyone down is a choice to end on. it surely is.

so that was the episode. go fuck yourself. i love you.