Is therapy supposed to feel like I’m always walking on egg shells

First time attending therapy, first session with her felt nurturing, safe and non-judgemental, so I disclosed my issues of dissociating while self harming with her. I specifically told her I wanted to deal with my current issues but during the last 5 minute she drops a bomb shell and says that it’s not my current issue that we should be dealing with but my issues all the way back in childhood? (Wtf?)

Second session, she constantly raises her voice at me, yells at me as she twists my words and mocks me for how “rigid” I am, gets impatiently angry if it takes a while for me to organise my thoughts, and drops another bombshell during the last minute of our session that my histories with self harm while dissociating is my choice, that everything that has happened to me is my choice.

I’m genuinely fucking pissed to the brim, and I don’t know if I’m the problem or what, but her saying that it’s people’s choice to commit suicide instantly made me extremely uncomfortable around her.

Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Paying hundreds of dollars to be degraded and restless after she ends every session with dramatic cliffhangers?

I feel like I’ve failed everyone in my life, including this therapist, I always feel worse after every fucking session.