I feel like im not doing enough. (Please read🙏🏻)

Hey guys. I’m an almost 18 year old girl and currently in 12th grade. I have a sister who’s 16 and in 11th grade. I see the bond between sisters around me and how unconditional it is but i feel like my sister doesn’t like me at all.

Few days back i read her chats talking to my ex bsf(now her friend lol) saying how bad of a sister i am. This left me heartbroken. My sister bitches about me to my ex best friends. My sister vapes, drinks and smokes and i do not support any of this. I don’t know how to stop her, i tried my best to.

We do not have a mom(divorced)but an amazing dad who does everything for us. My sister talks shit about my dad too whenever he gets upset. I absolutely love and adore my dad even though we’ve had problems in the past. Everything is okay now (🧿).

Now the thing is, i feel like i am not doing enough to be a good sister. A few days back i was talking to my sister about a schoolmate of mine saying “arey inka toh bhot age gap hai na badiya hai” and my sister said “yaar kaash mummy papa ne tere birth ke baad thoda wait karliya hota taaki tu merse aur baddi hoti and mere liye paise wagera laati.” Guys when i tell you i just fell shut, i didn’t know what to say. My dad gives both of us a very good amount of pocket money and i still buy so much things from MY OWN pocket money for my sister. My sister is very particular about her money and barely spends it on me.

My sister talks bad and the worst things about me to people from my own class who are her friends. Everyone believes all the bull shit she feeds them. I keep comparing myself to other big sisters and feel like i have completely failed. I hate myself so much and i always feel like the worst sister.