I left Islam because my cat ran off.

As comedic as it sounds, it's a lot more complex. I was always silenced when I asked "why do we even read quran in arabic? Why not my country's first language or English (my native language)?" I was told by my religious teachers that even seemingly innocent things like unislamic music are haram. The same principle, in its most literal form, meant my national anthem wasn't permissible because it was about the language of our country, written by a Hindu man. Why should I not enjoy my language and my culture that my ancestors fought to protect and preserver? Why should some 2nd century Arabs dictate my life and my identity? I started reading history on how Islam even spread and why some people are muslim and some are not. I started questioning the flaws in Islam. Whenever I questioned the contradictions in Islams or demanded moral justification against things like Jew killing (banu qurayza incident), forced conversions, forced imposition of Arabic, usage of violence and military conquest to spread Islam, I never got a proper response from my adults. I was called a traitor and sinner for questioning Islam. I stopped asking about Islam to my adults and secretly started growing disillusionment. I then asked myself there are thousands of religions. How do I know that I was born into the right one? What makes Hinduism or Buddhism any less valid than Islam? I started losing religiosity but wasn't a full atheist like I am now. I would still identify as a Muslim but was more agnostic. It wasn't a discrete, linear or black and white process

My cat getting lost was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was super hurt and I would go out to look out for her in my neighborhood for 6 months, even on days I'm sick or it's rainy. I would pray everyday for my cat to come back. She did not. I witness the absolute cruelty of God and I knew such a force did not exist. How could a conscious being see his creation suffering so badly and not do a thing? That caused me to apostacize Islam at the age of 14 or 15. 2 years later, I find out it was my parents who dumped my cat somewhere far away. I was obviously hurt by this betrayal. I had lost my self esteem. I thought I didn't have the worth or I was somehow a horrible pet owner that my cat left. I stopped talking to my parents and gave them the silent treatment for 2 months. One day hell bent loose and they physically abused me for hours (at the age of 17). They dehumanized me. They said ill about my feelings. They ruined my self worth. They treated me less than an animal. This just made me a stronger atheist because even if there's a God, I wasn;t following the God they believed in.

Being from a conservative Asian country with poor support system and unhealthy adherence to filial piety, I knew the authorities wouldn't be there to help me. I gave up my dignity and apologized, despite being treated like a punching bag, and created a facade. I am still behind this facade where I act normal with them but once I'm independent, I'm out.

Current status: I am a hardcore atheist that denies God. I do not believe, in fact I know it for a fact, that there is no God. I am personally a progressive liberal. I am very skeptic: I do thoroughly examine scientific claims and I criticize data. I believe in evolution. I reject Noah's ark, creationism and most religious anecdotes.

Edit: I kindly request that you stop criticizing me for "blaming God" or suggesting that I didn’t try hard enough to understand "true Islam." What’s done is done, and I am firm in my decision. Please understand that I’m not here to bash God or anyone’s beliefs. I simply wanted a space to express my feelings, vent, and seek closure.

I am not looking to discuss politics or revisit Islam, so I’d appreciate it if you refrain from pushing biased scholarship or attempting to reconvert me. However, I welcome respectful and diverse perspectives on the matter.

Edit 2: I really appreciate the supportive comments here. You people are the true heros and each and every supportive comment meant the whole world to me.