My biological family is ruining my life

I have the best husband and the best in laws. I have wonderful friends. I love where I live.

But I don’t know how to appreciate any of it.

I don’t know how to be in a relationship or maintain friendships.

I honestly feel like I don’t know how to be human.

I get defensive and mean because I assume the people I’m around now are going to treat me how I spent most of my life being treated.

And I spend so much time and energy trying to convince my biological family to love me that I am too spent to give my chosen family the attention they deserve.

I can’t eat or sleep or function appropriately, despite a decade of therapy and a move across the country.

I don’t feel like I’ll ever be able to escape the ramifications of the first 20 years of my life.