i am so in love

it’s been a little over three years. i won’t bare my whole soul to a random subreddit, as i am typing it more in depth in my notes app for just my own eyes to see…..but it would be a great disservice if i didn’t scream it from some form of roof top, be it literal or metaphorical. i didn’t think love was actually as good as they said it was. i didn’t think someone could love so tenderly, u unconditionally. they’re sleeping next to me and the rise and fall of their chest reminds me of why i want to live in the first place. i spent so much time wishing my life would end when i never considered that there was ever a chance i would get to have a positive experience within it. my pain is not gone but it is a companion next to the love that is equal if not greater its strength. i don’t know what will happen in my life, but i know ill never forget the way they smell and the way they hold me at night. i can’t wait to wake up next to them again. they’re more than i could have ever wished for. if you are reading this; thank you for being my best friend. thank you for giving me my life back and showing me how beautiful it could possibly be. i don’t know if i could ever repay you for this kindness as it is unique and one of a kind in its genuine nature and form. it’s as if i want to repay you by living a better life and becoming a better man. i have learned that being in love is to be in a state of love as it is all encompassing and everlasting. everything started to mean so much more to me when you showed me it was worth caring about; even the most minuscule or even tedious carries some meaning somewhere. i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. <3