Just found my boyfriend on Snapchat in the bathroom

Basically, yeah. Fuck. My (23) bf (26), just got caught red handed. We’ve been together 5 years and I’m so fucking sad and distraught right now idk what else to do… I didn’t even know he had a Snapchat and when I caught him he lied right to my face over and over again until I told him to open the phone. I’ve caught him multiple times in the past following girls he shouldn’t be on TikTok (thirst trap accounts) but I thought that was it, and we had been doing sooo much better I thought. The fucking thing I can’t get over is how my sister and niece left, he started talking about how long it would be before I’m ready to get married, and we were about to get our first place together. Then not even 5 minutes later I catch him messaging other women.

Update: I will do a more thorough update later but digging through the hate comments between the good ones is a bit difficult right now with everything going on.

Update: okay I’m gonna give some background into our relationship and then I’m done with the post the men in these comments are really gross ! We have lived together at my mom’s house for years. I’m still in college right now about to finish my degree which is why we have been making plans to move in together. We actually had a walk through we missed today. We also have had issues in our sexual relationship for years if I’m being completely honest. There were signs I kind of ignored. There was a period where we didn’t have sex for like 8 months. Twice** in 5 years I have found him on TikTok/Facebook/instagram following thirst trap accounts. When he was confronted he unfollowed and stop immediately. Mind you this happened once in 2023, and once in 2024. So when I referenced “things getting better” I mean that I had finally gotten over the insecurities that it made me feel. Well, after he was confronted yesterday he finally admitted to me that lo and behold, he has a porn addiction… which I kind of already knew deep down. (To clarify: I really don’t mind if my partner watches porn, it’s human, I do it too sometimes so who am I to say anything.) But what really gets me is that he says that for 4.5 years he kept it to porn hub and the like, but for the last 6 months he’s been buying picture bundles (basically OF shit on snapchat). Which is what he was doing yesterday in the bathroom on Snapchat. He also said that there was never an instance where he was messaging someone back, only receiving. Im aware that it’s awful and disgusting behavior for a man in a relationship- regardless of your idea of porn he still lied about it and hid it from me. He chose hiding porn over the “love of his life”. And he’s gonna have to live with that🤷🏻‍♀️.

Do I believe him based off of the things that I KNOW about him and our relationship? Yes. He has struggled with addiction issues (drugs, alcohol which he’s gotten help for) for our entire relationship. Will I stay with him after this? Probably not. It’s a sticky situation when you’ve been together for so long, our daily lives are intertwined, and he has no family in our state so it’s not like he can just leave right away. And also, I still fucking love him. As of now we are separating and he is moving out next week. Right now I’m talking with a landlord about moving into an apartment in my college town so I can finish school so I’m hopeful for the first time since yesterday.

To answer some popular questions:

-yes cheating is whatever relationship boundaries you have set that has been crossed, is this cheating based on everything? Idk -yes I have a Snapchat and TikTok. The difference being is that I have had the same accounts since we’ve been together and he KNOWS that I have them? We follow each other on TikTok and I didn’t think he had a Snapchat based on what he told me. -if you fr think that I MADE him look else where for pleasure, you need some serious help!