Podcast rant from someone who just found this subreddit

Ok so, I have been a listener of this podcast for so so long and have listened to all of the episodes, some more than once. I have been harboring my judgements and feelings about the pod because I love listening to the stories but find Morgan and her crew so unbelievably annoying. I thought my feelings were “hot takes” but I just discovered this subreddit and now I am ready to unleash: 

• Justin. Oh my goodness I get nightmares about his monotoned voice and horrible takes. The complex that he has is undeserved and unbelievable. I did not mind Justin in the early early episodes yet I had some slight annoyances when he would continuously ask “why?”. Like he is one of those people that when you ask a question or are looking for advice, he tries to dive so deep and ask you so many questions that you don’t know the answer to that you just get frustrated and cry. Like I don’t know why that’s why I’m asking!!!!! But I recently played the pod to fall asleep and woke up to him giving a 10 minute long speech for one story and almost cried. He thinks he is the perfect man and can do absolutely no wrong. And for what? It doesn’t help that Morgan won’t call out his stupid takes and holds him up on the highest pedestal. And they both love to compare their relationship or apply it in every single scenario, even when not relevant. Im seriously so over him going on and on for several minutes after Morgan says anything. He can never just get to the point and just defaults back to “communication” when he can’t think of anything original but wants to yap. He is truly insufferable. 
• Lauren. Lauren is not a terrible guest but sometimes she makes me mad. Like sometimes she just has her moments where I feel like she just doesn’t get it and low-key comes across a little dumb. Which is fine like no shade but when it’s the whole episode it gets a little tiring to listen to someone who continuously doesn’t get it. It’s not cute and funny to come back another day and be like “oh wait I changed my mind!”, and it’s not cute and funny to have the absolute worst take ever. Also (and I will elaborate a little on this later) she almost always without fail picks the worst of the options that Morgan gives her for the last story which makes listeners, like me, who are not apart of pattern, infuriated. 
• Jerry. I have no issue with Morgan and Jerry being so close and open with each other but I think there is a line for what is appropriate to talk about with your daughter and what is not. I think Jerry crosses that line frequently and Morgan thinks it’s like so special that he is able to be so open and honest. Also I hate that he thinks he is the absolute main character and when he has an opinion or something to say, everyone should shut up, bow down, and listen. AND THEY ALL DO IT. Every time he has something to say Morgan treats him like the king is making a speech, and 99% of the time, his opinion is way off, inappropriate, or unnecessary. I don’t think I’ve heard one piece of advice from Jerry that I would ever listen to or recommend to anyone ever. I feel like he’s trying so hard to be relatable while almighty, that the things he has to say make no sense and end up in a pointless tangent. ****Let it be known that I do not listen to FKS so I don’t know if the dynamic is different than what my impression is and I don’t want to subject myself to another podcast with Morgan in it. 
• Morgan. Where to start. First, she is the epitome of a pick me. Morgan loves to paint herself as the perfect girl to a stereotypical guys perspective. She loves to talk about how open sexually she is, how she loves strip clubs, and anal, which like ok??? I think strip clubs Arte fun too but like you don’t need to keep saying it over and over again like cmon. And she likes to use her stupid “sexy voice” which is obviously not natural if you have listened to the pod from day 1 or have listened to any of the old episodes. It’s also very weird to me how highly she talks about herself in terms of her relationship with Justin. Its confusing for me, or maybe I need to be more confident, but I feel like she loves to put him down while talking herself up, by reminding the world that she didn’t want to go out with him at first and wasn’t totally into him. I don’t like Justin at all but I mean how do you just sit there and let her just passively bash you on the pod. I guess I am most confused because even though she says all of that, she treats Justin’s opinions as if he was the greatest thing in the world. Also we don’t need to know about your sex life with Justin or any of the orgasm creams and anal beads that are your favorite. Like I really liked (and I know this is unpopular) the episode with Stiff Socks because I thought it was funny. But they way Morgan was trying so hard to seem as sexually open as the guys was crazy. Like Michael and Trevor are known as extremely sexual people and Morgan acted like she was on their level and was trying so hard it made me cringe. And I don’t mind the sex stories on the podcast and some of them are funny or interesting, but omg… I cannot stand the poop stories. I feel like poop stories only have a certain population of listeners that actually think they are funny or fun to listen to, or maybe I’m part of a small population that feels this way, but I feel like they are so gross and unnecessary. And she also talks forever about them after. I love the idea of the pod, reading crazy stories that would warrant a hot take, and I feel like the poop stories bring absolutely nothing to the table. And the ads fro Lume!!! Girl it is not “cute” or “quirky” to tell us about how you forget to put on deodorant all of the time and smell ripe. You can hype up the product just fine without letting us know about your BO. Morgan also cannot go through a single episode with a guest without telling them about her doctorate. Like enough is enough. She plugs it into every chance she gets, even if it doesn’t add anything to the conversation. And she repeats things about her life (her family farm, carnival wedding, etc.) with every single guest. I hate having to hear over and over again about the same stuff all of the time. With that, I feel like she is a “know-it-all”. If there is one thing about Morgan, she will make sure to add a fact or something she read or heard with absolute confidence, even when it is 100% absolutely incorrect. You do not need to know everything and it’s not that impressive that you do a little research on insignificant things to plug a little fact. And if you want to sound smart, maybe look up how to say things correctly:). Next, I understand that some people do not want to have children or are scared of the idea of giving birth. And that is 100% completely ok and you are entitled to control your own life and body! But the way Morgan talks about childbirth is really upsetting. I hated when she said, “I’m not pushing a watermelon out of my pussy!”. It sounded to vulgar. For those who do want to have children and go through pregnancy, its almost as if she’s like “yucking your yum” (I know that’s such a weird way to put it but I have no idea how else to put it). Like if you do not want to have children or get pregnant then fine! But stop talking about how gross or scary it is for the people who want or cherish that experience. AND THE CRYING. Girl please try to keep it together. 
• The pod overall. I wish that Morgan did less talking and tangent in-between. I also listen to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories and like it so much better because 1.) they are funnier and I love the guests, and 2.) they don’t tangent too long, Shayne likes to wrap it up to get in more stories. I feel like Morgan likes talking about random crap more than actually reading the stories, so if that’s the case then have a separate podcast and just talk about stuff! Or keep the tangents for your beloved patron. Which by the way, stop giving your guest a choice to shamelessly plug patron. If you want to give them a choice so bad, then give it to them privately, since Lauren almost always picks the story that does not sound as juicy.

I know this was so long and critical, and I am sure a lot of you will tell me to just not listen or unsubscribe, but I have put in so much time into this pod and genuinely like hearing the stories. I respect the work that Morgan does for the pod and how she has built it up, but these have been my feelings for a long time complied since I never knew that a forum like this was to exist. With that, I apologize that some of my thoughts have been slightly contradictory, as I am trying to lay out all of my linear feelings as well as my overall feelings. Like I said, I have been holding on to these for a long time and am so happy I found this sub. Thank you all for listening if you read this lol.