Husband (45M) asked me a ridiculous question and got mad when I answered it.

I’m just ranting. Maybe looking for a term for whatever it is he just pulled on me.

We have three kids living at home (15m, 9m, 1f). Little one still nurses. I’m in college part time online and he drives truck so I’m home a lot with kids and he’s not. I’m his second wife, we’ve been married for 10 years and we’ve lived in this house for over 7.

Tonight I have a final due, a very clingy toddler and two kids that are very absorbed in their respective interests. I’ve been trying to work on my homework between taking care of kid demands and chores. Husband comes home and tells me he’s got a great idea for dinner, heads to the store for supplies and gets on it when he returns. He manages to get toddler to play downstairs close to him to give me a break. It doesn’t last long of course and she’s right back upstairs climbing on me and nagging to nurse. I go downstairs with her to see how much longer it will be (trying to hold out and feed her solids so she doesn’t fall asleep without dinner). He says about half an hour. I sit on the couch and toddler starts having a loud, violent tantrum because she wants to sleep. I finally give in and figure I’ll nurse her until dinner is ready and then she can eat with us and sleep afterwards. Here is where everything gets tense and weird.

The food is done and husband pops his head around the corner. Looks at me annoyed and says there are no clean plates, how are we going to eat? I looked at him like he grew a second head and asked if he was serious. He huffed and said yes he was asking me a serious question and what are we going to eat the food on. I had started dishes earlier today and only got through the plastics. The dishes are all stacked next to the sink and literally just need to be popped in the waiting dish water and scrubbed. I am sooo confused at this point and slightly disgusted with him. I finally stated the obvious - he needs to wash the dishes. He gets angry at that point and stomps back into the kitchen. He then yelled for 9m and asks him if he’s okay with eating dinner out of a cereal bowl.

I’m not sure why he did this. If he was hinting that I should drop the toddler (she was latched and half asleep) to do dishes for him, there were better ways to convey the message. Any thoughts on what his intent was?

Thanks for reading.