help me with what I’m feeling

ok we haven’t even started with filing yet but this is what I’m already feeling 😔

I feel like our life is on hold. I feel like we can’t buy a house together, or have kids, and have the big wedding we want (we eloped btw) because a part of me feels like I’ll get denied.

if I get denied, that means I have to go back home. which is in a way okay cuz I’m well off back home. downside is we’d have to divorce cause his work and family is here. as much as he says that he’ll move to my home country if that happens, I just know he’ll bail on me last minute. on top of that, I know his family wouldn’t be happy with him being away cause they’re all close.

I love him so much that divorcing would kill my heart. I say that life feels like we’re on hold is because if we get a house (my mom will give the DP) and we divorce, then I’ll need the money back to settle again in my home country. Most likely, my mom will want me to get the money back so she can buy me a condominium in the city in my home country.

If we have kids and I get denied, that means our kids would either be with him or with me and I don’t want them growing up without the other parent. I grew up without a dad so ik how sad it feels.

if we have the big 30-50k wedding our families want and we divorce, that’s 30-50k down the drain for my mom 😭

I just hate this feeling because I feel like I have so many grounds for denial. maybe I’m just overthinking it idk.

am pretty sure he will file sometime in the summer but with the new admin, I feel like they’d be nitpicking the hell out of applications. anyway, let me know what you think.