MH Never saw combat

I have a MH appointment next week and I’m thinking of cancelling it because I have pretty bad anxiety about being judged by my therapist or anyone really in the VA. I’ve been going to the VA because I’ve been having some service connected issues and I always see vets over the age of 40 and I feel like I don’t deserve any of these benefits. These vets probably saw combat and I’m just a guy that did one contract and got fucked up. Im in my 20s and ”look healthy”. I’m also Hispanic and with all this hate going towards hispanic people lately I haven’t even been outside lately, I just feel anxious all the time and I’m tired of it. I’ve stopped taking my meds and that’s why I’m probably just ranting rn at 1am.

My question is can I get referral to see a civilian therapist with no ties to the military? My Va is less than 50 miles if that matters.