Midlife and Noncommitted

So my boyfriend and I have been together 4 years and living together half of that. He’s always known I was looking to get remarried at some point as that means a lot to me and I’ve always known he wasn’t as he says he “doesn’t believe in marriage and he’s fully committed to me long term… don’t need a paper for that.”

He does show his commitment to our future by buying a property together and working on my house all the time. We talk about what we’ll do in retirement and where to live.

Occasionally when I said I was insulted he didn’t want to marry me , he’d say we can talk about it if that’s what I want and he loves me and he’s shown he’ll do anything to work on us.” But He definitely dodges or acts uncomfortable if I try to talk about it.

I know he probably will never ask me and I’m trying to decide if I’m ok with that now —or if I will always resent it.

I am the larger breadwinner with a decent pension coming but I am more financially comfortable with him and I’m of that age where I do need stability and some help with a large property (which he provides)... He does many house rehab projects and helps with organizing and some cleaning.ñ so it seems balanced. And, Yes, it’s more than that. I feel like he’s my best friend and life partner. But am I selling myself short?