Staying with a cheater what to do?

Should I stay or go?

I need some advice on what to do because I am lost. I (F 21) have been with my partner (M 22) for almost 6 years (started dating at 15 and 16). In September (2024) my partner and I went ring shopping. We’ve been talking about marriage and engagement for a while, I’ve been ready basically since we turned 18 but it’s taken him a while to also be ready. The ring shopping was initiated by him. We had agreed that we weren’t looking to by anything, and that we were simply just looking (idea was that I’d tell him what I liked, he’d come back at a later day to buy something). When we got to the store, I instantly fell in love with a ring, I tried in literally 100s of rings but kept falling back to that one. It was the one. My partner bought it while we were there. Said it was one of the easiest purchases of his life (he’s really weird about money, so for him to drop a large amount right then and there was pretty big). Things were great. He was planning this surprise trip in march over our six year anniversary where I knew he was going to propose, we had another vacation in April. I thought we were solid. He had even asked my dad for his permission to marry me.

But we weren’t.

In December he went on a work trip, where he cheated on me. I found out he cheated once he got home, he admitted to it, admitted that he was still talking to the girl, and that he actually hasn’t loved me for the last three years of the relationship. I asked him why he bought the ring and he couldn’t really give me an answer. I left, I will admit I didn’t want to, I wanted to forgive him and love him, but he asked me to leave so I did. A week later and he shows up at my work, tells me he’s sorry he knows that he fucked up, he wants to be better. At first im like “yeah here’s the classic ‘I cheated on you and lost you and now im here crying about it- pitty me’ “ cheaters act that EVERYONE seems to do. But also I’ve never seen this man so emotionally vulnerable in the entire time we’ve been together. So I hear him out. He agrees to individual therapy and couples therapy (which he strongly was against forever) and church (im religious, he’s not, again strongly against it for forever). He’s been doing these things, and we’ve been going on more dates than ever, he listens to me when I cry, he doesn’t get upset with me for not trusting him and “understands” the pain and trauma he’s put me through.

I’ve been cheated on before, and when I found out with the others I immediately got up and left. No doubt in my mind that I was doing the wrong thing by leaving. And I instantly just stopped caring about them. I know I was younger and the relationships weren’t as long so maybe that’s why, but I didn’t feel like that when I found out this time around. All I wanted to do was hug my partner and make sure that he felt loved and cared for and that he understood that I forgave him.

I really want to be with him, but I know I don’t deserve to be cheated on. No one does. And I hate how torn I am. I can see the effort he is putting in to be a better person, and I do see the slight change in him already, but im so torn. Part of me hates that he’s getting what he wants by having me back part of me knows that he doesn’t deserve that. But I want everything with him. He’s my person.

Please what should I do? My parents say that they are supporting me either way, and that he’s just a person and people make mistakes, my friends have all dumped me because I’m choosing to give my partner another chance. I don’t know how to feel or what to do.

Please help.