Guilt about bad thoughts

Sometimes, it happens, no one can't help it I guess and I always feel a lot of guilt and distress cause I convinced it will get at me 3 times worst (karma) for doing so ?

Sometimes for getting out of my system I write in my diary all of my dark thoughts against people : again, will it go against me ?

I'm scared of talking about Wicca to my therapist... That she would judge me. I'm way to easily influenced and sometimes it's hard to talk to spirit cuz I'm still having trouble of having them in a form of a men and a women, so I'm imagining as a whole, as everything but so, lord and lady goes out of the picture