I'm feeling guilt

Long post sorry. important/urgent question in the end please help me out with it! , I've been a victim of emotional/psychological abuse since 13 ever since my mom got with her boyfriend who is now her husband. My brother too but with physical abuse on top of it, now I'm 17 and finally took action. Before you say or judge me for taking so long, I didn't consider all of this abuse until I did research at 15-16 when a whole drama blew up by me being intimate with my boyfriend to the point that my stepfather threatened him, he was 17 at the time and I was 16.

Trigger warning for mentions of sensitive topics

A little of a summary of what he'd do, yell verbally abuse my mother, me and my brother, humiliate us from time to time, call us degrading names such as parasites if we didn't do chores or took a break. We had to clean the house every day, no excuses, we had to ask permission to grab snacks or eat something, and if we cooked something for ourselves, we had to do it for them too or we would get in trouble, and pray to the universe that you do it in the way he likes it or else you're doomed too. He would walk around naked in the house, yes without a single piece of clothing. I need to keep my door open unless I'm sleeping, asking whats for food would probably make you receive a slap across your face. Mocking mental illness or talking shit about his daughter who is also a victim of his abuse and even more since he has abused ex romantic partners, the mother of his daughter included. He openly brags about r4ping woman and how he needs his partners to cook and give sex or else he'd leave or not see it worth it and be an excuse to cheat, he even has told me that if I ever call home to say that my future husband beat me that he will ask what did I do to deserve it and defend the man if I didn't do either of those things. He talks shit about my boyfriend because he is non chalant and a very busy guy, keep in mind my boyfriend truly loves me, he is a sweetheart but he is just dry, and he's aware of it and tries his best, he respects me and is very affectionate since his love language is physical touch, about being busy he works and takes care of his two siblings. Leaving his gun out without putting it away knowing theres a mentally unstable person in the house, I've expressed suicidal thoughts before (And this is not all, but with this you can get an idea)

The last straw was him breaking my phone when I reached out to my dad about how my stepfather lashed out on how I asked what kind of soup they were making, "soup of shit, stop making stupid questions" after that he went to my room and told me that asking is a disrespect and that next time I ask I will be without food and that I should just eat whatever there is. Oh and that I had to cook for now and then, look I have nothing against cooking but when you put me in a situation that if I do a mistake, have to constantly ask permission to grab ingredients because if I don't im yelled at, then I hate it.

The morning before we head to make the abuse referral with my grandparents my stepfather started to attempt guiltripping us, on how he has done so much for us (buying us stuff) and how we were ungrateful brats, now he won't speak to us or anything, my mom is pissed too even though I'm doing this for her too because she is also a victim. But she keeps pulling the victim card, and it's making me feel guilty asf even embarrassed. Im scared where the hell I'll go because they'll probably not take my gramps as caregivers due to their fragile state. CPS is coming soon to interview us all, which us luck. Also does someone knows what typically CPS targets to take children out of the homes or see them as suitable to live in, what they do after??? Because I have a possible place, but they don't have a room for an extra person so I was thinking a mattress for me? But I'm not sure if CPS will buy that as a good thing?