Some thoughts and questions after finishing the books

So first and foremost: I really liked the books, but i still have some things I absolutely didn't like and some things I didn't fully understand. And since nobody in real life read the series I come to reddit with my thoughts. English is not my mother tongue and I didn't read the books in english, so please forgive me, if I'm not writing perfectly. This is gonna be a long post, I apologise for that. I'm gonna start with the top 3 things I hated in the books, because nearly all my thoughts and problems are connected to those 3 things.

First: I HATE this soulmate stuff with all my heart. It feels like I am back to Harry Potter fanfictions of the 2000s and early 2010s. I did not like it back then and I do not like it now. It completely destroys the buildup of a relationship for me, and I felt betrayed at the end of book 2, when the readers learn about the bond between Rhysand and Feyre. Also it always felt like a cheap attempt of the author to make the readers understand, without any questions that the pair is made for each other.
Second: The legitimasation of Rhysands actions. I loved the character of Rhysand in the first book and in the first ~75% of the second book. He seemed to be so shady and dark and I found him so interesting and I thought we are gonna see an amazing character growth. But no. His actions just get a legitimasation and he is a holy angel, who only ever wanted good. This, again, feels like a Harry Potter fanfiction trope which was excessively used for Voldemort or his deatheaters. Rhysand is the same character in the beginning and in the end. It really disappointed me.
Third: Tamlin's character assassination. Don't get me wrong, I DO see the red flags and problems in the first book. He has always been a walking red flag. But between the first and second book he somehow turned from a three dimensional character, who had flaws into a one dimensional idiot. And I can repeat myself again: It is another Harry Potter fanfiction trope, that happened a lot with Ron and serves to make the main love interest seem less problematic. It disappointed me so much. Also somehow Tamlin is now the most hated character by everyone in the books, even though there are so many way more evil or problematic characters.

So now to my thoughts and questions. Maas decided to completely legitimize Rhysands actions and make him the good guy all along. But why did she never try to explain the bone twisting he did to Feyre under the mountain. If she didn't retcon his character I would have liked this scene a lot to show, that Rhysand is a very questionable character. The problem is, she makes him a person with good intentions who "would never harm Feyre". Why was he able to remove the painting from Tamlin's hands when he and Feyre made out, but could not fix Feyres bodypaint with his magic? If he really was a shady guy back then this would also have made a lot more sense.
The Illyrian women are getting their wings clipped and the most powerful high lord and Daemati Rhysand can not do anything against this? He could manipulate the Illyrians into changing their mind. Sure, one could argue thats really unethical, but it is not like it's more ethical to mutilate women. Especially since he usually doesn't have problems with doing this. He even tells Feyre, who felt bad after invading Luciens mind that she's gonna get used to it. Also it is not possible to heal their wings, when it is possible to heal Cassian's wings that got completely shredded?
When Feyre is pregnant, nobody can help her survive the birth, because magic can't do anything. The same magic that was able to heal a disembowled Cassian can not do anything here? Really? Also she AND the baby are gonna die, but it is still a stupid idea to transform into an illyrian woman to survive birth? Why?
Rhysand is a liar. He told Feyre after the soul mate stuff that he's never gonna withhold information from her, and then he doesn't tell her she won't survive giving birth. He also thinks stealing the book part from Tarquin is smarter than telling him the truth. There are many more examples of him withholding the truth or straight up lying. This would not be a problem if either a) he is meant to be a shady guy or b) someone would hold him accountable for this, was the case. But this does not happen.
Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie just have a few months of training and after that are better than Illyrian warriors who trained their whole life? Questionable.
Feyre being angry at Tamlin for believing that Rhysand abused her, after the Night Court pretends for centuries to be evil and after she told him that Rhysand abused her. So she is angry at Tamlin for believing a woman who says she got abused????
Her writing a breakup note to Tamlin was also not the smartest idea she ever had. Tamlin thought she is an illiterate, so obviously he would think, Rhysand did something with her.
In the second book Feyre complains that Tamlin wanted only s*x in the last night under the mountain and didn't want to save her. But in the first book she ALSO was passionate about this. And honestly I think a good ruler would not give up the only chance for his folk to be free again, by releasing the only person that can save them. As a high lord there should be moments when the higher good should be above the wellbeing of a single person. Was it dumb to make out with Feyre: Definitely. But that is not really Feyre's problem with the situation. And something that really annoyed me is that it get's represented as bad, that Tamlin was just sitting next to Amarantha. Even in the first book Feyre has some negative thoughts about this which seem only to exist to undermine Tamlin to the reader already. Like what was he supposed to do? There was nothing he could have done, to be honest it was smart to control himself and if he always had this amount of selfcontrol he would not have been that problematic. But our main characters act like Tamlin was a weak person for the one time he was able to control himself...
And on a sidenote: Amarantha's riddle is such a joke. Could she really not come up with something better? The whole plot of the first book seems to only move forward because one of four things is always the case. Either Tamlin is stupid, Feyre is stupid, Amarantha is stupid or Rhysand has one braincell more than the rest. But okay, I can live with that.
Everyone hates Tamlin for being a terrible person and a terrible ruler (even Nesta) and act like he is the biggest monsterthat exists. Meanwhile everyone is fine with Cassian, Azriel and Rhysandslaughtering a WHOLE VILLAGE for what they did to Cassian's mum.
Making Feyre High Lady is a good thing and Tamlin's plan of making her a trophy wife also seems to be bad in the book. I find this incredibly weird, because Feyre is a 20 year old woman, who did not grow up in the Fae world and just learned how to read and write. She has no clue about bureaucracy, government stuff, the fae traditions and ruling in general and the text really wants us to believe it is GOOD to make her a ruler in the fae world? Also she is not exactly the sharpest tool in the box as she showed multiple times. What exactly qualifies her for that? I would totally understand her talking with her husband about stuff, but she should not be allowed to make any decisions for the first years.

I know it doesn't sound like it, but I REALLY enjoyed the books. I could talk about a lot more of my thoughts about the series, but the post is already long enough. So I am just gonna finish this post with an order of the books from favourite to least favourite: 5 > 2 > 1 > 3 > 4.