Hyperactivity isn’t the “boy form” of ADHD.

I guess I have more “traditional” presenting symptoms of ADHD. I talk a mile a minute and constantly, always have and complete strangers would call it out my whole life. I used to have to be tied to my dinner chair loosely with a belt because I couldn’t stay seated while eating. And I have a ton of hyperactive stims people complain about being distracting and was always getting in trouble for talking too much, moving around, etc. in school until I became obsessed with appearing like the model student as a 6th grader and got it just under control enough to not get bad marks.

Even so, I’m a woman with combined type ADHD who does present as being quite hyperactive and can’t really hide it. No one is ever surprised when I tell them I have ADHD. They often say they totally thought I did just based on my energy levels and the way I direct conversations in a million directions.

I’m very happy more women who don’t present as super outwardly hyper but are more inattentive feel representation in the community, but I’ve been feeling really bad about myself lately because I keep getting told by people and folks with ADHD that women “usually don’t present as traditionally hyperactive” or that that they present mostly only “inattentive or internalizing behaviors.” But the thing is many women also do present as hyperactive and just mask well. I feel kind of lonely that I struggle constantly with my body always moving and my speech always racing and the social stigmas around that, even within the ADHD community, since many women say they present as primarily inattentive. I’m not just quietly spaced out and having issues focusing. I also unintentionally draw attention to myself with my energy and have to work at it every single day all day to appear calm, speak slower, etc. I even have to sit on my hands in meetings to remind myself not to interrupt or talk to much.

I just don’t fly under the radar the way many inattentive types seem to. And I feel less womanly sometimes with all the rhetoric around hyperactivity being more common in men. We hyperactive women exist!!! And we aren’t masculine because of it!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant. I just heard some TikTok saying women don’t present as hyperactive with ADHD but are usually only inattentive for the millionth time and it had me feeling terrible. Had to get this out there. There aren’t “boy forms” and “girl forms” of ADHD, women just have to mask more due to social pressure. But the consequence I guess is feeling invalid because you do present as more hyper than even some other women you see with ADHD. :/

Edit: Thanks for all the affirming stories, words, and provoking thoughts, everyone! It’s so lovely to be able to get perspectives of other Hyperactive ADHD women and know I’m not alone. Y’all are amazing.