New to this… help

I (29F) have depression, CPTSD, anxiety disorder, the whole shebang. I take Lyrica for my fibromyalgia, which is supposed to help with anxiety but I haven’t noticed it doing much for that. I had been doing better on depression, I got out of an abusive situation a couple years ago. Now I have a beautiful apartment, I’m in a great relationship and have a decent job. But recently started feeling the depression spiral again, lack of enthusiasm and motivation, thoughts of self hatred constantly in my head, just the inability to feel excited about anything, even though I know I should be happy, I should be fine, guilt, shame, embarrassment, everything. I took a plunge and tried my first antidepressant. I took Wellbutrin, and it immediately spiked my anxiety and made me throw up all day, so I didn’t dare keep taking it. I’m not sure if I should try others or not. I’m scared of my personality changing because of medication. I grew up being taught that mental health issues weren’t real and medication is always harmful. I know that isn’t true now, but as a result I know nothing about it. I know some meds are for anxiety and some for depression, and each one can potentially make this other worse. If I take more than 100mg a day of Lyrica, I start having s*icidal thoughts. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.