Thanks, on behalf of a (voluntarily) celibate straight dude

So, I don't really think I'm asexual, per sé. I'll sometimes call it gray, but tbh I've been attracted to plenty of women, had sex with some, and enjoyed the experience occasionally as well. With that said, I really am okay having not having sex. I orgasm regularly to keep my libido down and it works for me. If I were in a relationship again I'd want a sexual component, but in the long-term I would care much more about the romantic/partnership aspect than being able to fuck all the time.

With that said, I don't feel like I relate to many straight folks. I didn't have sex until I was 24. I thought this was a big deal growing up and was very ashamed of myself, but now I really don't get why people care so much about sex. I've heard it described as a need, know of men and women doing all kinds of terrible things in order to have sex, and experienced some of my worst traumas because of sex. Even when the sex is fine, it can be physically uncomfortable. There's always a lot of pressure to perform too, and that doesn't even get into pregnancy risks, condom discomfort, STIs, risk of injury to your dick...etc. And, as a cherry on top, sex is seen as a societal reward for men. It just doesn't make sense to me that so many people let their lives revolve (directly or indirectly) around sex.

Anyway, seeing asexuality become increasingly normalized has helped me a lot. People still can't seem to wrap their head around a straight guy not wanting to fuck, but the more aces there are around, the more I feel like it'll be understood. I get how y'all feel awkward when family members ask why you're not trying to date anyone. I get how people treat you differently when you put in effort to be sexually attractive, and how frustrating that is. I get the worries about how if you stop having sex that a partner will leave you or cheat on you. I know I don't really belong here, but, like, thanks anyway. You're all doing great.