Phonetic notation for gift?

Hi all. Can you correct the following as needed, so that it would be pronounced like the phrase, "fool of a"? fuːləvə

(Am making a joke gift for a Canadian LOTR fan. The consensus answer will be embroidered on a winter hat ... resulting in a "fool of a toque" ... sorry, I'll see myself out.)

EDIT: It's a joke gift, not a joke question. I really am looking for the answer! :-)