Am i really that useless of a human being?

I’m so tired of everything at this point, I wished I was born as a girl, but the political discourse is so bad that it makes me fear everything that I feared from the very beginning I realised I’m transgender and autistic and coupled in that i sometimes don’t fit in but also still feel internally that I’m not a human makes me really feel lonely, that I have to always hit my head for my brain to reset and deal with my sensory issues, even socially I still feel like I feel like I’m too stupid to infer (I’m self doubting but i technically do have the skills to still be able to infer and mean what others say but environmentally unaware most of the time) and I just wished I was just born with a normal ass brain and born as a girl in a safe country,

Idk if it’s worth it for me to be alive im crying at this point (I’m having S**cidal thoughts, overthinking and overall worried about everything)