Does anyone else wake up in disbelief that theyre trans

It just feels so abnormal sometimes that I would have to do something to be myself. I actually feel like I rarely ever think about what gender I am on the outside in everyday life (Im pre everything) and sometimes I wake up thinking ‘I cant deal with this trans shit today’. Is this internalized transphobia that still I feel like ‘theres no way that I am one of them’ or could I just not be actually trans. Ive never actually talked to a trans person irl. I constantly surprise myself with the fact that I was born as a boy. Like I think that never actually fully registered to me altho people view me as one.