Proud Austin Driver 😎😎😎
Proud born and raised Texan here. I’m on my way to nowhere in particular, just playing angry birds on my phone. If I wander into your lane it’s just my way of saying howdy :)
I’m too fat to even qualify for law enforcement, but I like to pretend I’m a cop and drive like a rolling speed bump. Did you know there’s a whole lane dedicated to driving 5 mph under the speed limit? Everyone just lines up behind me in the left lane. It’s the best.
unzips pants
anyway can you believe these transplants? Disgusting! Truly less than human. Buying up our homes! The Californians are the worst! Can you believe they put “the” in front of their freeway numbers! HUR hur hur idiots
[jacking intensifies]
Austin was so much cooler back in the year 1456. Houses were affordable, and people leashed their dogs.
[sits on gear shift knob, stroke intensity approaching relativistic speed]
ahhh yeahhh
Okay folks sorry I’m driving down 35 now… the raw sexual anticipation of driving 51mph has got me on the edge. I really need to find a place to “park” my lifted 2WD F150 that I added towing mirrors to(it’s so fuckin cool), think I’m gonna drive it through the front of Hancock HEB.
Proud born and raised Texan here. I’m on my way to nowhere in particular, just playing angry birds on my phone. If I wander into your lane it’s just my way of saying howdy :)
I’m too fat to even qualify for law enforcement, but I like to pretend I’m a cop and drive like a rolling speed bump. Did you know there’s a whole lane dedicated to driving 5 mph under the speed limit? Everyone just lines up behind me in the left lane. It’s the best.
unzips pants
anyway can you believe these transplants? Disgusting! Truly less than human. Buying up our homes! The Californians are the worst! Can you believe they put “the” in front of their freeway numbers! HUR hur hur idiots
[jacking intensifies]
Austin was so much cooler back in the year 1456. Houses were affordable, and people leashed their dogs.
[sits on gear shift knob, stroke intensity approaching relativistic speed]
ahhh yeahhh
Okay folks sorry I’m driving down 35 now… the raw sexual anticipation of driving 51mph has got me on the edge. I really need to find a place to “park” my lifted 2WD F150 that I added towing mirrors to(it’s so fuckin cool), think I’m gonna drive it through the front of Hancock HEB.