First trip outside since getting discharged and it was a failure

Today was the fist time I went out into the world since getting discharged from the hospital. We got home on Tuesday and aside from taking our dog out for a car ride (she's an old lady), I have been stuck in the house crying. My mom wanted me to get some fresh air, so we planned on going to a couple stores and then getting coffee. I ended up breaking down and crying in the middle of the first store when I saw a photo album and thought about how the only photos we would have in our family album are of us with our angel baby. We went home after that and I'm back under a blanket crying. I know this pain is just temporary, but it feels never ending. I wake up every morning trying to figure out how I'm going to fill each hour of that day and go back to bed. When does this horrible roller coaster end?