How to handle secondary emotions regarding new pregnancy

Hello everyone, I've lurked here a lot and posted a bit since my wife and I lost our sweet Hadley at 21 weeks last year. A lot of the things I've read here have truly been pivotal to my healing, so I thank everyone in the community.

In what was truly a shock and a rush of excitement/joy/anxier/fear/etc, my wife and I found out we were pregnant again in early January. The whole time, she has been SURE it was a girl. The pregnancy has been very similar to Hadley's- a truly terrible first trimester, where our son's pregnancy was very different and not nearly as bad.

Today, we got the genetic results back- a clear genetic record. The filled us with overwhelming joy, to know we were one step closer to a happy, healthy baby. But then we got the gender results- a boy. The look on my wife's face was one of total shock. We hugged and talked, and she assured me she's OK, but I know deep down she wanted a girl. She also knows how badly I want to be a girl Dad, and I think some part of her feels bad for not being able to provide that for me (she said something similar when we lost Hadley- of course, I assured her she had NOTHING to do with that, we lost Hadley due to the cord being wrapped around her neck three times- a freak accident. I reassure her of this constantly). I made it abundantly clear immediately that yes, I do still want to be a girl Dad. That is the truth. But overwhelmingly, especially with what we went through- I am just so happy to get the news we have a healthy baby on the way. We weren't sure we'd ever be able to do this again, and others go through so much more trouble, so truthfully we're incredibly blessed.

But there is that part of me that is a little sad it's not a girl. And I feel extreme shame and anger at myself for feeling that. My therapist and I have talked about the dangers of "secondary emotions", so I'm trying to work through that. Beyond this, I want to be able to fully support my wife, who I know was really wanting/expecting a baby girl. I know overwhelmingly she has the same joy and relief I do, but I know those feelings are there. She did cry a bit when we were talking.

Have any of you been through something similar? In all honesty, it feels really fucking dumb and heartless to even have these emotions, when so many here and elsewhere have struggled so hard with one or multiple pregnancies, and here I am saying I'm a little sad we're not having a girl- but my therapist and I have discussed not hiding thoughts/emotions (things I've tended to do in the past), so I'm trying to talk them out now. And like I said, more than anything I want to emotionally support my wife through this, and perspective on someone who may have gone through something similar would mean the world to me.