Excited to just be done (even if temporarily)

Had a weird sense of optimism today (weird because I am NEVER optimistic). I think bar prep has broken me to the point where I realized that this will not make or break me. My value is not tied to this exam. If I fail, I will take it again. I will know what works for me and what doesn’t. I will have to shell out more money but it will be nothing 10 years down the road (unlike my student loans).

I’m too tired to give a fuck about the people who will look down on me/mock me/sneer at me for failing. After this exam, I get to spend time with family who will love me regardless of whether I pass/fail. I have law school friends who understand how hard this is and will not judge me.

I will finally have some free time after years of law school and weeks of bar prep. I’m gonna read books I’ve saved on my kindle and watch the shows I’ve been waiting to watch. I’m gonna wake up and have a slow day and go for a walk or go to the beach.

If I sound delusional, please let me be. This is what’s helping me get through this right now. I know and understand that a lot of people have more on the line (believe me I do too) but this is my limit (for now). I hope everyone has something they’re looking forward to after this.