Does anyone else feel comfortable knowing there's a way out if it all gets to much?

Been stressed a lot lately, my dads had a stroke which has left me running his business. I cant switch off, I can't deal with stress at all. A few days ago I got so stressed I started gathering supplies to end my life, now I find myself with an "exit box" Incase things get too bad. I find comfort in having it. Am I crazy?