Newly diagnosed, trying to stay emotionally neutral but frustrated with timeline.

Hi everyone. I just turned 37, no previous history of health issues or cancer. I have a supportive husband and 2 young kids. Newly diagnosed with IDC grade 3, ++- I don’t have an exact stage yet as we’re assuming IV until proven otherwise.

I found a large lump (7cm) in my right breast in early November, had a mammogram 12/2…core needle biopsy 12/3… confirmed to be cancer with lymph node metastasis 12/5. I then had a CT Bone scan which showed a large round spot in my skull and some sub centimeter lesions in my lumbar spine. I met with my care team (breast/plastic surgeons and radiologist) who I really like and am grateful to have access to. The meeting with my oncologist was a week later… also really like her and am confident in her expertise. She and I mostly discussed treatment for stage 4 (chemo) and briefly discussed what stage 3 treatment would look like (chemo, DMX and recon, then radiation)

After meeting with the care team I had a breast MRI, and a PET scan on 12/24—which I was under the impression would sort of be the defining scan to determine stage.. I read through the results myself (organs clear and no radiotracer avid lesions in bone) but have not heard from any of my doctors to discuss results. I know things are probably delayed due to the holidays.

I also had an enlarged thyroid nodule flagged— had an ultrasound for that last Friday and it came back as TIRADS-2.

I have a brain MRI scheduled today, a skull biopsy scheduled in 2 weeks on the 13th… and then another meeting with my oncologist on January 27th.

I guess my point to this long and rambling post is to express that while I am so grateful for the thoroughness of scans and biopsies and examinations, I am starting to feel very frustrated that everything feels so non-urgent, and I likely won’t even be starting treatment till February?? My grade 3 cancer isn’t pausing its growth while we figure all this out and I’m worried that it is just continuing to spread while I am waiting. I know it has not been that long since initial diagnosis and I’m trying to just trust the process and my care team. I think I’ve done a good job of keeping myself together mentally through the holidays, being happy and present for my family and kids. BUT… I’m starting to teeter in this limbo space of waiting to find out if I have a terminal diagnosis or a curable diagnosis hanging over my head and it doesn’t feel great.

If anyone here has had a similar experience or any reassuring words or advice I would really appreciate it 🖤