This really sucks.
I (25F) broke my right ankle, high weber c fracture with comminution. It was dislocated too on break but they reset it when I went to the ER the day it happened. Had an ORIF of my medial and lateral malleoli and syndesmosis. They shoved a nail up my fibula and four screws. I'll be having surgery again in 4 months to remove one of the screws to regain some more ROM. It was a really bad break, according to everyone who has seen my x-rays. Im just having a really hard time adjusting. I'm the kind of person who had plans everyday, out of the house, doing something physically active and social, and now I'm stuck non weight bearing for 6 weeks. I've been reading some other people's experiences and I just feel so upset and angry that this happened to me. I dont want ankle pain, stiff ankles, swollen ankles, discomfort when the weather is cold from the metal, all these symptoms for the rest of my life. I know right now the boot and the non weight bearing is temporary. I know that I will be able to walk again . It's just right now this really sucks. I'm so sick of hearing words of encouragement from people who have not been through this. From people who can just put one foot in front of the other and not think twice about it. I had been depressed for years and worked very hard to curate a life that brought me immense joy over the last year, and now all of that has been taken away from me and the depression came back in full force, if not double. I'm sick of watching TV and playing video games and honestly i don't feel like doing much else. I dont want to talk to my friends, i do want to go places. I struggle to sleep because of my insomnia, which I typically combated with physical activity to tire myself out, without that now i barely sleep and i know i need the sleep to heal which is also killing me mentally. Im really worried that I will not be able to have the ROM that I did pre injury and that I will forever have this injury haunt me. I want the remainder of my screws out as I'm already bothered by the hardware and when i brought it up to my dr he said hardware removal shouldnt be necessary. I dont care i just want it out i dont like the idea of that metal inside me. I know it's more of a struggle to remove the nail, I'd be happy with the screws out. I'm currently 2 weeks post op and just losing my mind. I don't know what to do. Seeing the muscle atrophy from just two weeks in a split was horrifying. I always took pride in my muscles and leg strength and now I look at myself and just feel so fragile and weak. Now I literally have an indent where my calf muscles used to be. Not to mention my ankle is like rotated inwards and my knee is like pulled in with it, like a knocked knee. I've cried everyday for the last three days. I just feel like my life has been stolen from me and the idea of having to let a year waste away before my eyes living a lifestyle I detest is killing me.