Holidays ruined by "In-laws" AGAIN....
I have posted of this already, but I just need to rant and hopefully be able to connect with others in the same boat as me.
CONTEXT: My bf (27) is Italian, so very family orientated and from MY observation of 4+ years very sexist culture. The women in his family were raised to be "house wives" aka pop out kids and cater to the husband. I (24) am ethnically Chinese,but adopted into an Italian family. Despite me being raised Italian, my parents never forced the idea of "motherhood" onto me. They split household chores such as cooking,cleaning. There was no gender type duties, many cultures face.
I went to his Aunts for Christmas, and as much as I love his family, they are very adamant on grandkids despite us BOTH expressing we are CF. His grandmother said in front of everyone, " Just start having kids already, don't even bother getting married, I want grandkids before I die". And yes, she has grandkids already, just not from us. I understand that it's more normalized to have a man's child before marriage, however if I EVER changed my mind, I want to be married. I find it very disrespectful to not accept our decision as a couple, especially since we're still young and figuring out our lives as individuals.
And yes,his mom is just as brainwashed, I just feel like an outcast for being the only POC in his family and the only woman who doesn't want kids. I wish he would just cut them off if they don't respect our boundaries, but that'll never happen. I am scared for my future with him. Do I just brush it off and deal with this BS? He has stood up for me many times, but the women in his family bombard me when I'm not directly next to him (very manipulative). And no I will not "change my mind!".
EDIT: Thank you everyone for giving advice/sharing your story. I truly appreciate it!