I most probably ruined a persons life.

Just to clarify this before hand. I do not have any remorse for my actions but I can acknowledge that the things I have done can be viewed as psychotic.

Basically, It started when I was 14 (I am 25M btw). I was never into girls or relationships exactly to be frank. And as a teenager I did bullied quite a bit for it. I believed I never got into a relationship only because I was not interested. I knew of people that had a crush on me, but I never acted on it. I simply was not interested. I am still not. I get horny but I have no desire to act on it with anyone else. I don't know what to call it but that's another issue.

A lot of my friends had a bet on who could get a girl to be their gf the fastest. 3 people (including me) were going to hit on 3 different girls and the guy who would get the girl first would essentially earn cred in our circle. I wasn't interested in girls but I wanted the admiration of my peers and I decided to participate. I thought for a while and I decided on a girl, lets call her 'B'. It was a weird choice. She was popular but mostly because she was friends with the prettiest girls in our school. No one was interested in her because of her weight (She was kind of big. Not obese but not that skinny either). She honestly did not look ugly but no teenage boys were interested in dating a girl that's bigger than them. All my friends made fun of me but I decided it would be my best shot.

I messaged her on whatsapp and at first she wasn't that interested. But i was given some time so I decided to keep talking to her. After some time, she gave in and she seemed interested. My guess is that because of her looks, she never expected any boy to be interested in her so she was hesitant. And over the course of 2 days, she fell for me. I was still playing the whole time and I had no interest in her. I was just messing around and after some time she was the one who asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend. I said yeas and kept playing around with her for a week until she wanted to get serious. Tell he friends and get matching bracelets. That's when things got kind of bad. I did not want to continue this relationship seriously but I didn't want her to know the truth because truthfully I liked the attention.

So for this to end, I decided that she had to break up with me. So I started kind of ghosting her, and gaslighting her but she didn't get the hint. In the meantime she told all her friends and almost the whole grade knew. So I knew I had to end this. I decided to tell her I was bisexual and she did not care, she said she wanted to continue this no matter what. The girl was desperate and I was desperate to end this. After some time, I talked shit about her to another friend and asked her to send it to her. She saw it and she was quite hurt and she was ready to end it. But I wanted to see how far I could gaslight her.

So I sent her a massive apology begging for forgiveness saying I has bad experiences from past relationships and I was sabotaging it because I loved her. It was all a lie but she bought it. It took some convincing but she decided to be my gf again. I used it as a revenge on how much she annoyed me, because when I tried ending it, she kept trying to make it work. For a month, I gaslighted her into thinking I loved her. By this we started sophomore year and she was really committed. She gave me gifts, I did nothing in return. And she sent me some personal photos too. By this time, I was getting pretty annoyed with her because she still didn't take the hint that I wasn't interested.

I leaked her nudes to the entire grade. I sent the chats between my friends about how the whole relationship was a bet and all the messages she sent me announcing her love. I burned the necklace she made me.

The whole school treated me like a king and made fun of her.

She left the school a month later. Apparently she dropped out due to some health issues senior year and didn't go to college. She still lives with her parents. Some friends told me that she went to some mental facility 2 years ago as well. I still think what I did was alright considering she kept bugging me. I don't really feel bad but I have realized it was kind of mean.

TL:DR: I gaslighted a girl, spoke shit about her, gaslighted her into making me her bf again and then leaked her nudes and chats and revealed it was a bet. The girl went to mental facilities most probably because of this.z

EDIT: I have been going to counseling. My psychiatrist has told me that I can't change the feeling of no remorse but it is good to admit it. I used this post as a way to officially admit what I did. The psychiatrist did not diagnose me as of now but I am trying to change. Yeah, I know I am a monster.