To My Convert/Revert Sisters: Take Your TIME!

Hey sisters, I wanted to share something I’ve been thinking about after scrolling through Salams yesterday. A lot of convert/revert profiles had one thing in common: “Looking for a husband to guide me and help me become a better Muslim.” Sounds sweet, right? But it can also be really scary.

I’m 21M, and I’ve seen way too many stories that broke my heart. At my local mosque, I’ve watched amazing sisters—kind, selfless, and genuinely good people—get deceived by men they married with this same goal in mind. These guys used Islam to control them and took advantage of their trust. It’s heartbreaking.

Here’s the thing, sisters: some men (NOT all, obviously) have really gross mindsets about convert/revert women. I’ve seen it firsthand in conversations with other guys as a guy myself. They fetishize converts, thinking they’re “easy.” And by “easy,” they mean:

• “They’ll do whatever I say.”
• “She doesn’t have family to back her up, so she has no choice but to stay.”
• “I can mold her into whatever I want.”

It’s disgusting, I know. These men aren’t real Muslims—they’re just awful people with a “Muslim” label slapped on. But unfortunately, they exist, and I want you to be cautious.

I don’t have a real-life sister, so y’all are my sisters. And I’m telling you this because I care. You’ve already taken the most courageous step in converting to Islam. That alone makes you incredible! Allah loves you so much for that. Islam holds converts in such high regard, and the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) showed this beautifully. When Khalid ibn Al-Waleed and ‘Amr ibn Al-‘As converted, he trusted them with leadership roles that benefited the entire Muslim community. That’s how valuable you are.

So, take your time. Don’t rush into marriage thinking you need a husband to “lead you.” You lead yourself. Use this time to deepen your understanding of Islam, especially your rights as a Muslim woman and as a wife. Learn what’s non-negotiable for you in a marriage. Know what’s halal and haram so no one can use religion to manipulate you.

The idea of “someone guiding you” is cute, sure—but this is your journey with Allah. Take your sweet time to figure it all out. You’ve already done the hardest part by embracing Islam, so finding the right spouse is just a little side quest in comparison. You’ll do that too, insha’Allah, with ease.

I’m sharing this because my heart breaks every time I hear stories of sisters being hurt like this. I pray you never have to experience it. May Allah protect you and bless you with someone who truly values and respects you.

Take your time, sisters. You’ve got this. 💜

JazakAllah khair.