Contact sleeping.

ETA: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who commented and supported me. The internet can be a harsh place for co sleeping/contact sleep but I went and researched all of the things and found that there really are safe ways to do these things and in most cases, it’s a matter of irresponsibility that causes problems.

Turns out, he wasn’t getting enough from my supply, hints the unhappiness/inability to settle. We’ve had to supplement until my supply fully comes in and he’s sleeping in his bassinet SO much better!!!!

We aren’t contact sleeping anymore unless I just need a little snuggle time (my anxiety is just… I’m having a hard time between the supply issues and his first few days of life,) and my husband watches us to ensure we are safe. Thank you all so much for being so kind- my momma heart really needed it. 💕

It has been the longest four days of my life. I labored for 46 hours and baby boy has been here since Thursday at 9pm.

We had a really scary first 12 hours or so. He was doing this grunting thing through his sleep making everyone think there was something wrong with his upper respiratory system. He had multiple checks and was always “cleared,” but I knew in my heart he was uncomfortable and no one could tell us why.

Fast forward, that is all cleared up (eventually he just stopped, he was almost taken to the NICU to have air pumped out of his stomach, but even that felt like they were just trying to appease me,) but because we were all so exhausted and he’s breastfeeding, I let him fall asleep on my chest just twice, and I slept, because I hadn’t in two days (between the long labor and the scaries,) and I was just beat. This was in the hospital.

This is directly against SS7. I know that. I understand it. And I HATE that I did it.

But it’s the ONLY peaceful rest either one of us has gotten.

It’s now Saturday and we just got home today and he’s struggling to sleep in his bassinet. Just can’t get comfy. Maybe 15-20 minutes at a time he’s quiet.

Until the SECOND we go skin to skin.

And he rests. A peaceful, real, rest.

And I don’t know what to do.

Words of encouragement, or whatever advice is so welcome. I love him so much. He is everything to me… I just wanna be safe but I also desperately need us to be able to sleep. Both of us.