Foster Dadding Rant

Less need for support, and more need to vent.

I'm the foster parent of a wonderful little now-2-year-old girl. We've had her in home for 6 months and she's been a loving part of our natal family from the first day. What was supposed to be a 5 day respite placement has otherwise turned into a 6 month hellscape with the agency and mother. NOT, to be very clear, the girl. She's had her troubles, especially with sleeping and being alone, but she's been wonderful.

For the last 5 months, the agency has been telling us both that she's staying with us for the foreseeable future while mom figures out her stuff, and also working over time with mom to get the girl moved to a cousin of the mother. Said cousin...isn't a good fit for the girl, and would be a massive step down in terms of care, ability, and capacity to oversee mom (e.g., mom will get to do whatever she wants because the agency can't be bothered. Kinship trumps everything, including the kids needs.).

Moms visits are normally scheduled for Wednesdays. For obvious reasons, the agency was closed last week and this week. So we offered to have mom over for Christmas morning, a bit after the initial scramble, so she can share Christmas with her daughter and open some presents with her.

She was 6.5 hours late, arriving as we sat down for dinner.

Today was the girls birthday. She's been sick the last few days with a fever, so we kept things small and contained (and, let's face it, big parties for little kids are for the adults). We again offered to have mom come over and visit to have some cake and be there when a few presents are opened.

She texted us 15 minutes before the start to say she had to do a quick errand and couldn't make it at the time. We said we'd be doing dinner in 2 hours and hoped she could make it before then.

She never responded and never showed up.

I'm so beyond angry and hurt for this little girl. Mom can't be bothered to make even a cursory appearance and the agency is working hard to place her in a home that they'll never monitor. Instead of being with a family she's grown to love and love her, they want to send her off to day care 6 days a week.

The foster system is broken, and filled with workers full of apathy and focused on their numbers, rather than the real needs of real kids.

That's all, that's the rant. Happy new year y'all. Hug your kids and make it a good one for everyone in your care.