My three-year old has an imaginary friend who is just a cooler version of me that allows my son to do whatever he wants.

My son has an imaginary friend named "Knotson" (pronounced NOT-son). I didn't think much of it, because my older daughter had an imaginary friend and I thought my son was just copying her.

But then, my son began divulging details about Knotson that followed a suspicious pattern.

My son began asking me various biographical details: "Dad, how old are you?" "I'm 31." "Dad, how much do you weigh?" "I'm 200 pounds."

A few days later, "Dad, did you know Knotson is 31 years old? Dad, did you know Knotson is 200 pounds?"

But that wasn't enough. A few days after that, it became clear Knotson isn't just a stand-in for me. He's also much cooler.

"Dad, do you have a snowmobile?"

"No, son. I don't have a snowmobile."

"Knotson has a snowmobile. And he rides it every day."

"Cool."

"Dad, have you been to outer space?"

"No, I haven't."

"Knotson has been to outer space. He goes there every day."

Lastly, Knotson is evidently very gracious with my son.

"Dad, can I have a candy?"

"No, son. You already had one this morning."

"Knotson gives me candy. He gives me lots of candy."

I think all of this is mostly harmless, but it has caused me to remark to my wife that if I ever meet Knotson in person, I might just pop him a good one on the lip, haha.