Need Advice On My Situation

Hello All,

Wondering If I handled this situation correctly. What I should do next when it comes to it, if anything at all. Looking for other points of view on this said situation.

There's a bit of backstory so here goes. I have known this girl for the past 10-11 years of my life and I've grown to like her a ton, I believe she's perfect for me (Im 27m, shes 26f). We have very similar backgrounds, want the same things out of relationships, etc. I took her to prom my junior year of high school. We went to the same college for our freshman year and I knew she wanted to transfer to a different one so I bit the bullet and didn't make any advancements because I didn't want to be a variable in that. We would talk and catch up periodically around every six months. The summer before we graduated we got together and caught up in person when we were both back at our hometown and I found out she wanted to travel and live in new york. So again, didn't push my feelings on her because I didn't want to be a variable.

After graduation, we kind of fell apart, didnt talk for about a year at a time. Would catch up in-person periodically when she was back home for the holidays. Eventually I started dating a girl and she reached out and was a bit more talkative than normal. I kinda focused on keeping it short because I knew it wasn't fair to this new gal I was in a new relationship with. Fast forward about a year and a half and this girl and I break up. A couple of months later, I had to reactivate my facebook profile for a travel softball team I'm playing on for the coming year. My mother and I were going through all of my old pictures and of course, the prom pictures of the two of us came up. I decided to shoot her a text, turns out she had moved home and I had absolutely no idea for the past year.

She got into a relationship with a guy who did not treat her well at all. She got out of that relationship around 2 months (it lasted for 9 months). After me reaching out to her around a week ago, we setup dinner plans. We ended up being at this bar/restaurant until close. Had an absolute blast, went over everything we had been through, the night was absolutely filled with laughter and by the end of it, she was clearly comfortable with me and I though she was all over me given her body language. She showed me a list on her phone of everything she wants in a guy. It was super scary, it fits me to T. I made a face and she noticed and asked me why the face and I said I plead the fifth. Shortly after, we left as it was bar close and I was taking her home and she eventually pressed me about the plead the fifth comment. I looked at her and said Alright, I think youll appreciate me being up-front with you.

I looked at her and asked her you know I've always adored you right, like ever since I'v known you? and she looked at me with a smile in her face. I then proceeded to tell her that I find her mind to be an absolute treasure, her values, how kind she is, and that shes an absolute sweetheart. That shes dedicated, she looks at things she wants and takes them, and I find a lot of honor in that. Her parents and I know each other and I like them a lot. We both come from good families, have similar backgrounds. I told her that list she showed me scarily fit me. I told her i think shes gorgeous and again that I think she has a really good head on her shoulders. I told her I know you got out of a relationship recently but I would like the oppurtunity to get to know her again as it had been a couple years, but I had a lot of memories come up, feelings come up and that I had to tell her. I also told her I never made any obvious advances because I didn't want to be a variable that could potentially stop you from doing what you want to do (transferring schools and moving to new york).

I dropped her off and she hestitated getting out of the car and she gave me a huge hug. I felt absolutely relieved that I had finally told her and actually was content. She texts me when I'm about 3-4 minutes away and it says "dammit I wish I wouldve kissed you just to see" My car read it over text to speech and I audbily said fuck it and u-turned, went to her house, called her and said hey you im outside. She came flying out of the house and we kissed. I told her no matter what happens that I would always cherish her. I went home. Texted her when i got home per her request. Thanked her for a wonderful night and we had a 35 phone call. We were planning out plans for the future weekend.

The next day she was rather distant and I took notice to that. So at the end of the day i gave her a call, she missed it, so I straight up told her "hey just want to make sure that we're on the same page and that you're okay, a lot happened last night."

She responded with "Yeah I've been thinking about that... I'm not exactly sure what page you're on but I don't think its a good idea to start anything right now. I am still really processing everything that happened between ex and I don't feel ready at all to get into anything with anyone else and I would just feel bad doing that with you when I still have a lot to deal with as far as that. Do you get what I mean?

I responded with "I understand"

She then apologized and said she was sorry and that she should've been more straightforward about that and that it was dumb. She then thanked me for understanding.

I then stated "If you ever need anything or things change, trust me i get it, dont hesitate to reach out"

She responded with "Okay I appreciate that, thank you. And same if you need anything I'm here too.

That is where I left it, I figured at this point, the ball is in her court.

This was a couple of days ago. Here's where my head is at. She is clearly interested and is comfortable with me. I don't really have any regrets telling her, sure I mightve dont it too soon, but this has been obviously in my brain for years. I had to tell her at that point. We all go through shit that affects us and I just want her to be happy. I have been in similar positions that shes going through as well so i can relate to that. I feel as if the ball is now in her court and when she works out the things shes going through, theres the possibility she reaches out.

I, however, felt a little upset initially, I kind of felt "used" so to speak and my thought process was more or less why were you all over me at the bar and why did you text me that you shouldve kissed me, it was confusing. I also think part of those feelings are projections of the things that I've been through in the past. But I understand that she might not be ready romantically yet.

All in all, I'm deciding to give her space so she can sort things out but i obviously dont want to let her slip away. I'm thinking about how I navigate this or if i just let it be and leave it up to her. I normally wish her a happy thanksgiving and christmas and I'm struggling if i should reach out at all. I talked to my mom about it and she told me to let it be. Any advice, criticism is greatly appreciated!