What’s the proper etiquette for approaching who pays on the first date (if you want them in to pay)?

I used to be into feminism/equality in the sense that I didn’t want a man to pay for the first date, I thought we should split it 50-50. I am still a feminist, however, my perspective has now completely shifted and I want a man who is enthusiastic to spend time with, who wants to provide and protect for me. I also think it’s rude for a man to expect or allow you to split the bill if they ask you on a date, even though that’s unfortunately somewhat of a dating norm in America these days.

I don’t want to come across as a gold digger, disrespectful, or entitled. I’m not looking for a free meal, nor do I want to take advantage of a man. After leaving a domestic abuse situation, I am now looking for a husband who treats me like a princess, respects me, and is excited to care for me. My abusive ex’s never paid for our first dates and I never want to repeat a relationship like that. So what’s a polite way to approach this when I expect them to pay, but don’t want to come across as an entitled brat?

Should I bring it up somehow (and if so, how?) before the date? Let him take the check without offering to split then thank him after? Offer to split it, but secretly hope he won’t let me pay? Ask him when the check arrives if he plans to pay or split it? Or a different approach?