Moving Mom from AL to MC

Hey, y’all. Just need to be sad on the internet for a second. For context: I (32F) am MPOA for my momma (73F.) She’s been in an Assisted Living Facility since 2021. Two weeks ago I made the decision to put her on hospice care. Her Diabetes has cause significant kidney issues and she is now stage 5 kidney disease. Prolonging renal failure is our goal at this point, since she opted out of dialysis.

In addition to this, she has dementia. Two weeks ago she was close to death - hospice had given 1-2 weeks, based on her condition. Since then the confusion has gone through the roof. A month ago she was able to eat on her own and hold a glass of sweet tea. In these past two weeks she’s had 2 mini strokes, started to become combative (with just me thank goodness), can’t hold a small styrofoam cup for longer than 3 seconds, and is so so confused. However, physically she has stabled.

Yesterday when I arrived, I found her in the dining room completely disoriented and very hot to the touch. We thought it was low blood sugar but it was normal. Turns out she had been outside for who knows how long I’m 95° Texas heat. She was only overheated and dehydrated, but in her condition this could have sent her into renal failure. This morning, hospice suggested moving her to the memory care unit.

My heart is breaking. I always knew that was a possibility, but two weeks ago I thought she was dying. It never crossed my mind that she would live long enough to need to be moved. This week has proved she needs round the clock care, which is more than what the AL unit can provide.

I’m so sad; worn out. I know this is the right decision, but it doesn’t make it any easier. None of my friends have had to go through this yet. I’m the first to lose a parent (my dad passed in December) and I’m the first to deal with Assisted Living/Memory Care. I don’t need advise really, I guess I just need some reassurance from others who have gone through similar things. This has been the hardest 6mo. of my life and I’m so tired. Tired of making decisions and being the one everyone turns to for answers.

Thanks for reading. 💜