To well meaning friends

I don’t post much about taking care of my mom with late stage Dementia in Social media. I’m not going to lie and say it’s a blessing at this stage. You’re taking care of a toddler who is never going to learn to control their emotions, get better at walking and using the toilet. Never get better at sleeping through the night, feeding or dressing themselves. They can throw tantrums. I can never leave her alone, ever again because the danger of her accidentally hurting herself. She rarely remembers I or my sister are her daughters. She’s forgotten her grandchildren and thinks we are somehow keeping her away from her deceased parents, and husband. She cries a lot. I love her with all my heart. I take tender care of her. But I get frustrated and lose my temper sometimes which makes me feel horrible. Even with help from my husband and sister, I feel completely isolated and alone. Yes, there are some funny times. Like when she asked yesterday where “What’s her face” had gone after my sister left after a visit. Or when she told me, while watching The Mummy that Brendan Frazier use to be the weatherman in the town in which she grew up . Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from sobbing. So please don’t tell me I should feel it’s a privilege that I’m able to have her in my home with me. Because it’s not. It’s devastating and soul crushing. Because you’re watching your loved one disappear, inch by inch. And there’s nothing you can do to save them.